DreamEyce Studio Blog

He had acupuncture again today, and I’m told the acupuncturist was amazed by his overnight progress.  This morning he was standing on his own when the vet techs came in.

Because of fluids they want to keep him on the catheter, and IV fluids, and play it day-by-day. They think they want him there again tonight. I’m panicking about missing him, and money, trying to figure out where to pinch the already pinched budget I’m wishing I wasn’t anti-credit card and had better credit so I could get a card with a high balance. At this point, all I can do, is remind myself he’s doing better, and even if I’m making payments for months, his healing, is all that matters to me right now. I have to believe that somehow, it will all work out for the best, and I have to try to be strong for him. I, and he will make it through this.

He’s feeling, and doing better, his spirits are up. He’s a smart boy, and I’d be concerned if his spirits weren’t up. He’s worried about me, which is also a good sign. All I’m hoping for now, is that he recovers without surgery. At this point, chances look more good, than bad, so I’m holding all hope, on that strong tiger dog, who keeps me going. This dog is an amazing dog, and if any dog can make a full recovery, it’s him. My little furry dream dog, miracle, and best friend.

This song wasn’t written specifically about me, but it mine as well have been based on the name ;) It was dedicated to me as a child, and is still so fitting. There’s a few songs through my life that at times just hit home. I can’t wait until I grow out of this song. I’d much rather be where I want to be in life, than be dreaming about where I want to go, but I feel here, right now.

Caught, in an endless time
Waiting for a sign
To show you where to go
Lost, in a silent stare
Looking anywhere
For answers you don’t know

On the wire
Balancing your dreams
Hoping ends will meet their means
You feel alone
Uninspired
Well does it help you to
Know that I believe in you
You’re an angel waiting for wings… Emily

You, going through this stage
It’s a restless age
Young and insecure
Sill, there are doubts to fade
Moments to be made
And one of them is yours

On the wire
Balancing your dreams
Hoping ends will meet their means
But you feel alone
Uninspired
Oh does it help you to
Know that I believe in you
You’re an angel waiting for wings
Oh, you’re an angel waiting for wings… Emily

Michael W. Smith- ‘Emily’

Michael W. Smith is a christian artist, but I’ve seen him live a few times, and his work is all amazing and most isn’t preachy. My favorite concert was at the DC/LA ‘97 super conference in LA, before a mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico. I was just barely a teen, in an important turning point of my life. (Ironically, though we didn’t meet there, Curtis was at that event too!)

Another favorite, hard-hitting song of Michael W. Smith’s is ‘Place in this world’, which has been another important song through my life, esp with having a confusing passion, that doesn’t seem practical.

To help brighten the mood here, I was at the NW Working Dog Expo the weekend before last on sunday, and shot a few candids. The whole set is on flickr if you’d like to see.

A slobber-headed Fila Brasileiro puppy.

A pretty Bull Terrier tucked close with her Mom

A beautiful Shiloh Shepherd puppy. I’ve fallen in love with a few Shilohs. I can see owning a dog like this someday.

Poor Dea (And the rest of us) miss our Pit Bull, so enjoyed the snuggle time with all the snugga-bull Bullies at the event. I *believe* that all the Pit Bulls passed their TT titles, and quite a few got their CGCs!

This wonderful man is 10, and just adored Dea. Typical Pit Bull, the nanny breed :)

Also proud Aunty brags here… My American Pit Bull Terrier niece, and nephew dogs Gaia and Red Bull not only got their CGCs, but they also got their TT titles with HIGH scores. Red Bull esp knocked the socks off the judges :)

He wasn’t fully expressing his bladder, or getting enough fluids, so his urine was very concentrated. They talked me into letting him stay for IV fluids, and a catheter. I’m numb, lost, worried, and stressed. I can’t even explain this, but I’m having flashbacks of when Robbie went to the vet for his brain tumor. I can’t think about it though, as I can’t loose Traum. I just can’t. I can not do this, or even think about this at all.

On the positive, acupuncture seemed to make a difference. On the negative, the acupuncturist suggests surgery sooner, rather than later. We’re going to try less invasive options first…. I’m so numb right now though, I couldn’t process simple things. My brain, is completely gone at this moment. I’m sure I don’t even know my name, I’m so deep in shock.

Traum went down in the back this morning, and has almost no use of his rear. Prognosis is good, since he still has bladder, bowel, and some muscle control, but I’m still worried (Of course!)

I can’t handle this, along with everything else I’m dealing with. This is so scary, to have my best friend, partner, and protector in a state where I have to tend to his every move, carry him, and help him defecate. This will be a long few months, but I’m glad that the doctors have high hopes.

Dr says prognosis is REALLY good, since while he can’t walk, he can still stand, and support himself, and feels even slight needle pokes. All GOOD signs. He’s at the clinic waiting for an acupuncture vet to come in, then I pick him up. Keep Traumy in your thoughts. I want my boy back, good as new.

He’s not ‘old’, but he’s not young either. I was not, at all expecting health issues like this so soon, and hope for a fast, and full recovery. Luckily, his prognosis is good, which is a blessing. I’ll be honest, I’m a wreck. Absolute, total wreck. I held up OK until leaving him, but now, I’m not doing well. When it rains in my life, it seems to flood. I’m really ready for sunshine right about now :(